


it's not living (if it's not with you)

by digitalAlchemist



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Feels, Blood, Fluff, M/M, Minor Injuries, Post-Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 20:16:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16981107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/digitalAlchemist/pseuds/digitalAlchemist
Summary: With Season 8 of Voltron merely hours away, I wanted to write something to break me out of my writing block and happened to have some major feelings about post-S7 Sheith at the same time. I don't write angst that often, but I hope this piece brings through the kind of emotions I want it to.Not beta'd, so please forgive any glaring mistakes. Minor warning for descriptions of blood and injuries.(Title taken from the excellent track of the same name by The 1975; well worth a listen.)





	it's not living (if it's not with you)

Keith stared at the bleak white walls of his hospital room, and they stared back with the same feeling of apathy. His thoughts were muddled, drifting around his head like asteroids in space, with no clear direction or focus. The medication coursing through his system was beginning to wear off, giving him use of his mind and limbs once more.

He slowly became aware of something nudging at his hand — looking down, Keith spotted Shiro’s Altean arm pressing against him. He smiled softly, splaying his fingers wide and watching as the mechanical fingers uncurled and slotted themselves between his, giving him a gentle squeeze.

“You’re looking a little lonely over here.” Shiro’s voice echoed down the hall, his footsteps becoming clearer as he rounded the door and entered Keith’s view.

“You could say that.” Keith’s smile faded slightly, even as Shiro came closer and sat beside him on the bed.

“Wanna talk about it?” His voice was soft and hushed, even though there was nobody else in the room.

“There’s nothing to really say.” He shrugged, turning his attention to the IV drip currently emptying its contents into his bloodstream. “It’s just how it is.”

Keith’s recovery in the hospital was taking days longer than the other Paladins and he was starting to get restless. The doctors had told him multiple reasons why: his bond with Black was too strong and had left him unconscious for too long, he’d fractured multiple ribs and almost pierced a lung, he’d lost a lot of blood and needed several transfusions. His team had visited him, in various states of bandaged and bruised, and that had helped keep his mood up. But everyone had been busy with meetings and interviews recently, meaning that Keith was mostly left to himself with only occasional blood tests to keep him company.

“Keith…” Shiro’s voice was even quieter now, almost a whisper that Keith had to strain to hear over the beeping of the equipment surrounding them.

Keith knew that he’d finished duty for the day twenty minutes ago and didn’t need to be wearing the uniform right now; he’d come straight from work to see him. It sparked a flash of guilt through him, knowing that Shiro was tired as all hell but still took the time to be with him. He squeezed Shiro’s hand again, rubbing soothing circles across it with his thumb.

“I’m sorry.”

They both spoke at the same moment, catching each other off guard. They exchanged nervous glances before Shiro cleared his throat. “You first.”

“Oh, uh… no, it… it’s nothing.” Keith looked away again, swallowing around the sudden lump in his throat.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t save you sooner.” Shiro sighed, rubbing at his eye with his free hand. He was truly exhausted, having had barely a moment to himself since the fight; the Atlas was in the middle of repairs so he was restricted to high-level briefings and training programmes, which wore his patience down at a rapid pace.

“It’s okay. I know.” Keith carefully leant over, nuzzling into Shiro’s hair and kissing his head gently. “You did everything right, Shiro. Nobody’s blaming you for anything.”

“You almost _died_ , Keith.” Shiro hissed the word, as if it was cursed. “We could have lost you.”

“Shiro…” Keith wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. “I’m here, don’t worry.”

The door slid open, startling them both. “A-Ah, Captain Shirogane.” The doctor gave a salute, offering him an apologetic look. “We need to give Keith a quick checkup; would you mind waiting outside for a moment?”

Keith pulled back, quickly kissing his temple and sliding his hand free. “Go get changed if you want, I’ll still be here when you’re done.”

Shiro smiled, sliding his hand over Keith’s cheek and giving it an affectionate squeeze. “Okay. You know where I am if anything happens.”

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “Nothing’s going to happen, stop being so dramatic.” Keith gently pushed him away. “Now go, you smell of hard work and desert dust.”

“You always know how to make me feel better, don’t you?” He nodded to to the doctor as he left. “Thanks for keeping an eye on him.”

“Oh, it’s no bother Captain. He’s a lovely patient.” She smiled in return before glancing down at her clipboard. “Hopefully this should be one of the last tests we need to run, your results are looking much better these days.”

Keith nodded, beginning to roll up his sleeves. “I’m glad.”

* * *

When Shiro came back later that evening, Keith was fast asleep. Pidge followed him into the room and carefully pulled up a seat, watching Keith’s vitals flash on the screens surrounding him.

“He seems to be recovering nicely.” She whispered, afraid to wake Keith. “I was starting to really worry.”

“Me too…” Shiro hadn’t sat down yet, leaning against the doorframe instead and observing Keith from afar. “How are you feeling?”

“All things considered? Pretty good.” Pidge took off her glasses, giving them a quick clean with her jacket. “I’m aching all over and I still can’t move my leg properly,” she motioned to the cast around her foot, “but I’m alive. And that’s the important part.”

“We’re all alive.” Shiro’s expression turned sour, chewing at his cheek. “But only just.”

“Shiro?” Pidge turned her attention to him, his features silhouetted in the bright glare of the monitors.

“I know it’s selfish. But it hurts me so much to see him like this.” He closed the gap between himself and the bed, flattening his hands across the sheets bunched up near Keith’s legs. “We’re all up and walking, but Keith’s still trapped here.”

Pidge placed a comforting hand on Shiro’s arm, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “It’s okay, Shiro. He’ll be back with us soon. You know first-hand how strong Keith is.” She paused, before moving to stifle a laugh. “Sorry, pun not intended.”

Shiro laughed under his breath, a smile teasing at his lips. “He’s incredibly strong, you’re right. But still… I hurt him.” He glanced to Keith’s cheek, where the bright pink scar tissue cut his cheek in half. “He didn’t deserve that.”

“That wasn't you, Shiro. You know that.” She stood up, moving around to his other side so she was closer to Keith. “What happened out there wasn’t your fault, and it wasn’t Keith’s either.”

“I can’t help but feel responsible, though.” Shiro shook his head, looking down at Pidge. “Did you… know?”

“Know what?” She turned to meet his eyes, tilting her head as she asked the question.

“About what happened.”

“Only what you’ve told us between you. Your memory’s a little flakey from what I gather, but we got the general idea.” Pidge shrugged. “It sounded pretty rough.”

“It was.” Shiro glanced down at his non-human arm. “I could see everything, but I was powerless to stop it. I couldn’t break through the witch’s grasp on me.” His attention shifted back to Keith’s sleeping form. “When he told me his feelings, I felt control for a second before it was wrestled away from me again… almost as if his confession was a weapon.” Another sigh, another wipe at tired eyes. “That’s the only part I truly remember.”

“But you remember it well, right?” He nodded. “And you know that Keith loves you, yeah?”

“I do.”

“And you love him, don’t you?”

“With all my heart.”

“Then you know that he doesn’t hold anything against you.” Pidge nudged Shiro with her elbow. “And he never will. Keith’s not that kinda guy.”

“Yeah… You’re right. I shouldn’t be doubting him, especially not when he needs my support.” He reached over, gently stroking Keith’s hair back from his face; he stirred, slowly blinking as he woke up.

“Shiro..?” Keith’s voice was rough, the rest of his hair spilling over the pillows as he turned to face him.

“Hey, yeah it’s me.” He smiled. “Sorry for waking you up, you feeling okay?”

“I think so…” His eyes drifted across to Pidge, offering her a smile. “Hey Pidge, you came too?”

“I asked Shiro if I could visit you with him, I hope you don’t mind.” She smiled back, giving him a small wave.

“No, no, I’m glad you’re here.” He closed his eyes again, humming quietly to himself. “Do you mind if I go back to sleep though? ‘m super tired…”

“It’s okay, we’ll still be here when you’re awake.” Shiro leant down, kissing Keith’s cheek. “Take all the time you need.”

“Thanks, Shiro…” He took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. “Love you.”

Shiro’s expression softened as he pulled away, carefully sliding his robotic arm under the covers and into Keith’s grip; he felt him wrap himself around it, holding it close to his chest. “I love you too.”

When he turned to Pidge, she wore a grin that split her face in half. “See? What did I tell you — he’ll be okay.”

He gave her a gentle shove, moving to sit in the chair next to the bed. “You can head back if you want, I’ll be here a while still.”

“It’s fine. Honestly, the quiet in here makes it really good for focusing on work. And this way, I can keep an eye on Keith whilst still feeling productive.” Pidge pulled out her datapad, swiping it awake and turning off the audio. “Give me a shout if you need anything.” She took her original seat, throwing Shiro one last smile before diving into some work, the glare of the screen hiding her eyes beneath her large glasses.

Stifling a yawn, Shiro leant back on the chair — it wasn’t the comfiest, but he was all out of energy and could do with a nap. As he shut his eyes and began to drift off, he felt Keith give his arm one more squeeze and the warmth of his body spread through his aching muscles.

“I’m glad you’re back, Keith.”


End file.
